Tomorrow
your birthday
with expectations
of grand exhibitions
of snarling truths
smattered between
frosting on cake
a smile I shall fake
as you demean my existence
call me bitch
and smile at my resistance
it’ll be a
good
goodbye
as I look you in the eye
and steadily
walk away.
KendraLynn © 3/4/2020
Photographer unknown.
No eye contact
we look
but we don’t see
our deepest, deep
our longest weep
who’s to say
either of us are
sorry
KendraLynn © 3/4/2020
Photo credit: “My Venice” by Pierre Pellegrini
Ghost
of a girl
invisible
unrecognizable memories
easily tread upon
with dirty feet
walking callously past
truths
Invisible girl
unwanted
unneeded
cynically discarded
yesterday’s news
never nearly grabbing
unhinged mouth
always piercing
always stabbing.
~KendraLynn © 1/2/2020
Photo: borrowed from Pinterest; photographer unknown & unlisted.
I was the expert
in hiding
in denial
lead witness
absent
in the harsh trial.
my mind
so splintered
& raw
pounding headaches;
migraines
body aches.
a silent storm
wreaking havoc –
lethargy damn near
buried me.
numb the tragic.
I stared at my reflection. Dark circles under my eyes. 98 pounds. Skinny, droopy shoulders. Smoking cigarettes; one right after another. I didn’t know who this reflection was. She looked ragged. She looked tired & sore. The mirror mocked me. The pain, though. The pain shocked me. Memories I suppressed came crashing down on me. They nearly buried me. I cried myself to sleep. I prayed to a God I thought was no longer listening. I prayed to the misty, night air. I prayed to the ceiling; to anything. And then I succumbed. If this was Hell, I thought it best to simply curl up in a silent ball. Maybe the demons wouldn’t notice me as much. I let the storm rage on around me. And I slept. I let the winds of havoc wale & hail. And I slept. I let my pain drift into something I could no longer explain. I let it go. My grip releasing. I let it go. I let everything go. And that’s how my healing started. One painful grip into another, and another – until I could no longer hold on. It was accidental and it was full of numbing prayers. I survived the storm by falling into it; by swirling into the traumatic winds – thrown outside of it, eventually.
© KendraLynn 11/18/19
mother,
my mother.
what did they do to you?
to see your fear now;
soul
black and blue.
trapped tears;
hidden,
unvanquished fears.
so young
heart full of hope
pulled into darkness
pushed down
slippery slope
I’d sit with you
then
hold your hand
if I could –
if given that choice –
just to let your soul know,
and your heart know.
you have a voice.
if I could have held your hand;
walked with you –
even for a little bit,
through that hell you had to endure –
I would have led you to safety.
of that,
you can be sure.
mother
my mother.
~KendraLynn 10/17/19 ©
Photo credit: photographer unknown.
You cannot enter
until I say you can
you’ll leave
as soon as I deem necessary
I am the boss of this
elaborate establishment
this soul
crinkled & whole
insults
to barbs
salty
to belittling haughty
I’ll throw your ass out
watch it bump & tumble
on the concrete
my concrete
the concrete heart
you stepped on
is now a stepping stone
into the garden
into my throne
you
with your slitted eyes
with your half-crazed lies
have no heart
indeed
you have no
real home
not here
I’m done
closing the door
to highlight your own
scathing shun
~KendraLynn 9/13/19 ©
Photo credit: photo found on Pinterest; photographer unknown.
She was good
I’ll give her that
smiling
jesting
an excellent charade
tit
for tat
fidgeting hands
wandering through
frizzed strands
glasses askew
never seeing
her real view
she saw me carefully observing
thinking
surely she knows
she’s so much more worthy
far more deserving
she blurted out her confession
her bruised eye twitched
pointing to her husband
so brave
though she is currently unaware
soon
she’ll find her courage
leave that drunk punch
that
fucked up thing
he
calls love
soon
her faded lines will fill in
her heart will beat
her lungs will truly breathe
and her eyes
her eyes will mirror
her beauty within.
~KendraLynn © 8/19/19
Sketch artist (Holly Sharpe) named in the sketch, itself.
Bared feet
silently stepping beyond
your
preconceived notions
skinny ankle intentions
intentionally
undressing you
to see
you…
straddling your secrets
hips swiveling
in rhythmic gyrations
to your deepest desire
releasing the ire
~KendraLynn 5/18/19 ©
Learning
Feeling
that feeling
flying…
breathy sighs
deep intake
caged door opening
feeling the nervous quake
fluttering wings
this bird slowly sings
breasts heaving in excitement
to my stated proclament
limbs extending
thriving
striving
never once bending
fingers scraping the edge of the universe
feeling
finally feeling
what was mine all along…
this naked soul rises
singing hymns
of my own reprisals
~KendraLynn 5/18/19 ©
Photo borrowed from Pinterest … photographer unknown.
I am not my mother
I shall not ever lower myself
to that lowest shelf
Do you even know me? The daughter you despise? The daughter you throw to the burning heights?
Say my name.
No. Not bitch. Not witch.
Say my name.
Do you remember how you held me when the world wasn’t looking; how you sang me sweet lullabies? So sweet, it almost seems a lifetime ago.
Do you remember?
Say my name.
I’m the daughter you said you always wanted
but
there’s a look in your eyes
always haunted
Say
My
Name
No matter how your twisted heart flaunts it
it remains the same
Say
my name.
I know. Your sensitive hearts hates hearing the spectrum of the narcissistic mother. You need to hear the staving poetry of the loving mother; filling in the missing lines of your broken rhymes.
I have to tell you.
Not to sell to you.
Just to let you know
there are so many different seeds that sow.
I can count on one damn hand, the number of times my mother hugged me. Endless, are the other times I was thrown blasphemous names to digest. But I digress.
Not all is lost. Though, there’s a survivor’s cost, I still survived.
On my own, I learned how to feel love. On my own, I studied hard the lesson of a normal life. I said my own name in the darkness. And in that darkness, I became my own light.
~KendraLynn 3/24/19 ©
Photographer unknown. Found on Pinterest.
Kendra Lynn 